I wanted to post this as soon as I got up last Sunday morning - that’s when I woke up from a dream about him - but it just never happened. Other stuff distracted me, and then this entry turned out to be way longer than anticipated and I just couldn’t seem to get it right. I wasn’t explaining things properly and one of my goals in writing this was to provide a fair and relatively objective context for him and recent events, why things didn’t work out for us, and why I’d been dreaming about him in the first place.

Anyway, in the interest of speed and flow, I’m not going to go in and change all the references to time so just go with it, please. Hee.

Oh, and because this thing is so friggin’ long, here’s the Cliffs Notes (which may be perceived by some as inappropriately told, callous and maybe oversharing but that was never my intent):

Girl meets boy on internet dating site for geeks...they fall for each other hard after a month of talking everyday and two incredible dates...after they both admit things are maybe going too fast, they swear not to have sex - and then promptly have sex...still everything is awesome and they're talking long-term plans...then boy’s brother is told he has three months to live...boy is devastated and says he can’t be in a relationship right now and needs to focus his energy on his family...girl tries to be patient, kind and understanding...boy’s brother dies...girl feels horrible and tries to give boy the space he needs to come to terms with everything...boy more or less totally ignores girl for two months...boy tells girl he’s realized how important family is and has decided to get back together with the mother of his two young daughters and former wife who cheated on him in Africa on their 10-year anniversary...girl is heartbroken, hurt and smad (sad-mad) considering how the boy has handled things...boy and girl try to end things on good terms and be adults about everything...boy removes girl from his Facebook friends less than a day after the break-up which almost hurts her more...memorial/party for dead brother takes place and girl has dream about attending and him seeing her there and them talking...girl still has moments when she thinks the boy may realize he made a mistake and come back to her but she’s not even sure she’d want that to happen if it ever did...girl sends message to boy saying she’s thinking about him and his family and that she didn’t have to have met his brother to know how extraordinary he was - but girl is ignored once again...girl decides only time will help her get closure and already feels like the healing process has begun...girl doesn’t think about boy as much anymore but wonders if he’ll be her ‘what if’ person...

And now that I’ve given you the facts. Perhaps it’s not necessary for me to include the rest of the original journal entry. Some time has passed since I began it. Emotions and thought-processes aren’t as involved or raw as they once were so maybe there’s no more need to write about it...

What do you guys think? Do I sound dispassionate enough that you think I’m over him and the whole experience or do I perhaps have a little farther to go before that happens for real?